


Personal doctor

by AnneMars



Category: The Terror (TV 2018), The Terror - Dan Simmons
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 19:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14625780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneMars/pseuds/AnneMars
Summary: Basically it's Collins confessing to Goodsir.





	Personal doctor

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to write something about this ship since there are like, what, only two fanfics about it.

Being a doctor on a ship is hard work.Being a beginner doctor is even worse.And being a person with a heart filled with compassion who happens to be a doctor is the absolute worst.And Harry Goodsir was the latter.Maybe that was why most of the sailors on the ship favoured him over Dr. Stanley, who was ten times more prepared in the medical field, but less tactful and kind.

Goodsir couldn’t say he minded that, since he wanted to help people, and being appreciated made him feel like he deserved to be called a “doctor”.But it was still a long way to go for him, and he knew he had a lot to learn.And that was what he was doing.The infirmary was dead silent and he was alone, seated in his usual chair, studying an old book about anatomy. He was completely engulfed by his studies.It seemed like no one would be looking for him today.

Then he heard two knocks at the door.

“Sorry to bother you, doctor.May I come in? ” Goodsir couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised to see Mr.Collins at the doorstep, looking a bit nervous.He remembered speaking to him a couple of days ago, and at that time he seemed to be feeling well.He hoped it wasn’t anything serious the man was suffering from.

“Of course, Mr.Collins, come in !” he exclaimed with a sympathetic smile on his face.

He watched as Collins entered the infirmary, and noticed almost immediately that the man was dressed in his finest clothes, and that his hair was perfectly brushed in place and his mutton chops were slightly trimmed.Was he preparing for a mission?

He realised he was staring, but was glad that Mr.Collins didn’t seem to notice, as he was just taking a seat close to Goodsir.The man stared at the floor for some time, constantly fiddling with his fingers, which only raised Harry’s curiosity.He couldn’t figure out what was the problem, since Collins looked perfectly fine.Finally, he spoke.

“Dr.Goodsir, there has been something bothering me for some time now, “ the man finally said, looking straight into Goodsir’s eyes.

“Oh godness, Mr.Collins.How long has this problem been bothering you? ” the doctor responded.He was beyond curious to know what the problem was but he didn’t want to rush the other to tell him.

“Since the first day of the expedition..”

“Mr.Collins, you should’ve said something sooner.Medical problems are no joke, what if you have something serious, there have been some men who had scurvy recently, but we managed to treat it well so far.What are your symptoms? Do you feel weaker? Experienced fever in the last days? Does anything hurt? That’s a stupid question, of course something hurts, or else you wouldn’t be here.Maybe I should call Dr.Stanley, for a thorough investigation .“ he spoke quickly, in a worried tone, leaving no time for the other man to even think of a response.

Just as he was about to stand up, he was finally interrupted by Collins who looked a bit exasperated by the amount of questions.It was logical, Harry thought, to ask so many questions, since the man practically came in talking about a mysterious illness and gave no details about it.

“Please, Dr.Goodsir, calm down.You are more than capable to help me.No need to call Dr.Stanley.” a short pause, then he continued “ my heart it’s the one who keeps bothering me..” he again broke eye contact, now staring at the other side of the room, clearly deep in thoughts.

“You have a heart condition? I can surely find some medicine here to help you.Though, people of older age tend to be at higher risk, so I wouldn’t worry to much about it. You are still quite young, is it ereditary, this condition you have?” the doctor relaxed a bit, now knowing what his pacient suffered from.But, he still wondered, why was the man so ashamed to admit it.It was nothing embarassing.He got up to look for something in his cabinets.

He heard Collins sigh.What was it now?

“It’s not that kind of heart problem...it’s more about...how do I explain it? It’s about my feelings, doctor.My feelings for someone.These feelings are the ones who keep bothering me, ” it was a surprising confession.Harry wanted to tell Collins that he was a simple surgeon, not even that, more like a naturalist, and that those kind of problems were not his forte, but the other needed someone to listen, and Goodsir wanted to help him.He wanted to be able to give him any advice, no matter how small.

“Oh..” he felt pathetic not being able to say more than that, but what else could he say in that situation.Seeing Collins staring at him, waiting for a response, he tried to regain his composure, and spoke again.

“Uhm..well, that is something complicated indeed.Human feelings are more complex than we can ever imagine....did you meet someone ashore? It must be hard being away from someone you care about...” that surely wasn’t making the situation better.

“No”

“No? ”

“It’s not someone I met ashore.It’s someone I met on this ship.” The straight-foward answer left Goodsir in a state of confusion.Collins said that he met the person not ashore, but on the ship.But there were only men on the ship...oh...

OH...

It was like something clicked in his head.So that was it. Mr.Collins had feelings for another man on Erebus.That was why he was so cautious to say it, since both of them knew he could be punished harshly.But it was unfair, Goodsir thought, to be punished just because you have feelings for someone.And he was afraid to even think that Collins could be even sent to the Martial Court.No, he wouldn’t allow that.

He felt the other man tensing, so he broke the silence.

“Mr.Collins, you have nothing to worry about, as I am not a man who judges others by who they love.I’ll do whatever is in my power to help you, ” he spoke in a supportive tone, trying to let the Collins know that he could count on him.But there were still two questions on his mid: the first and the more obvious one was who was that person? He knew he couldn’t ask that, he couldn’t invade Collins privacy.And the second less obvious one was why was Collins so dressed up today? Was there something happenind he should know about?

His inner thoughts were suddenly interrupted by two strong arms pulling him into a tight hug.He stood there shocked as the taller man bent down to embrace him, and almost  gasped when he felt Collins head on the crook of his neck, his lips inches away from his skin.Still, it was nice.He tried to reciprocate it, to show Collins that he had no problem with his current situation,and he placed his hands awkwardly on the taller man's back,patting it gently.He could feel the hands around his torso tightening.

Being hugged like that made him remember how much he missed these kind of interactions.On the ship, everyone was so busy, they barely had time to talk to each other.So this type of change was nice.

"Thank you..."  the other man said weakly.Goodsir patted his back again as a response, since he couldn’t form any words at that moment.

"Who..."  he heard himself say.He cursed himself for being so curious, it was like his mouth had a mind of its own.He wanted to apologize and assure Collins that he didnt have to say who was the person.It was none of his bussiness after all.

"Who do you think, doctor? " This wasn't a guessing game.How was he supposed to know who that person was? There were a lot of men on the ship.Why did Collins become so mysterious all of a sudden? Also it didn’t help that Goodsir could feel every word the man spoke on his neck, his hot breath making the hairs on his back stand up and his skin crawl.His heart started beating faster, and he knew for a fact Collins could feel that.Why was he reacting like that?

Not waiting for a response, or maybe even knowing the response would never come from the already confused doctor, Collins continued.

“You have no clue, don’t you?And I even got myself dressed in my best clothes.Guess it isn’t as obvious as I thought it would be, “ he pulled away from the hug, his face still dangerously close to Goodsir, as he kept staring into his eyes “..it’s you doctor.“

For a moment, the only thing that could be heard was the distant sound of the waves crashing with the ship.To say Goodsir was surprised was an understatement.He was completely dumbfounded, unable to say or gesture anything, just looking at Collins with his mouth agape.

“I’m sorry, I was to..blunt about it.Just, forget what I said , let’s act like nothing happened.Sorry for disturbing you.” Harry watched as the other man turned around to leave.He didn’t knew what pushed him in that moment, but he firmly grabbed Collins hand.As the other man turned around to face him once again, he found the strenght to speak.

“You got it all wrong Mr.Collins...“ he paused for a moment,trying to find the best words “I am in no way repulsed by your feelings...I am quite flattered by them.I never expected a man like you to look at me in that way, I mean, I am a simple doctor, not even that honestly, and you are a really good man, a skilled sailor, we came from different worlds and..” he would have kept on ranting forever if it wasn’t for Collins interrupting him.

“So ...you accept my feelings ? You want to give this a try? ”

“...yes, I do “

He was left speechless once again as a pair of lips slammed against his own.It took him some time to fully understand his situation.Collins was kissing him.It was almost unreal.He felt the taller man’s hand on his hips as he was pulled even closer.

And then he felt a slick tongue on his lips, as it was waiting for permission delve in his mouth.As he parted his lips and Collins tongue was intertwined with his, he felt his cheeks heat up and his legs weakening.Never knew that man had that effect on him.His arms reached up and tangled around Collins neck, as the other kissed him passionately.The grip on his hips became firmer. They pulled apart and took shaky,shallow breaths as they gazed into each others eyes.Goodsir gently stroked Collins face, as the latter was holding him in a loving embrace.

“Collins...” Goodsir tried to speak, still panting.

“Hm?”

“Maybe we should close the door... “

They both neglected the fact that the infirmary door was wide open, and that whoever passed the hallway could easily see them.How were they going to explain themselves to that person?

“It would be a shame if someone interrupted us ,wouldn’t it? ” Collins said as he closed the door, smirking.

Goodsir felt himself getting pulled once again by Collins, who seated himself comfortably in a chair, with the doctor on his lap.He didn’t know if he should be annoyed with Collins constantly manhandling him like that or if he actually enjoyed it.Maybe he did enjoy it...

Collins started kissing him again, his mouth now travelling from Harry’s lips, to his earlobe, biting it gently, then to his jawline, peppering it with small pecks.He felt a hot breath on his neck, and then a tender brush of lips.Burning as they made contact with his skin.It was a foreign feeling, but he did not want it to stop.At first the kisses were small and sweet, but then his thoughts were stopped in their tracks as Collins bit into his neck and started sucking.He wanted to tell him not to mark him, as it would have been incredibly inconvenient to hide, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a soft moan.He felt embarrassed by his reactions, but containing himself in that moment was almost impossible.

Goodsir curled his head into the other man’s hair, breathing hard into his curls, trying to muffle his moans.His hands were rested on Collins’s broad shoulders, as he tried to find balance while the other was ravishing him.The taller man’s hands were now on his thighs, stroking them.He felt his pants tightening, and he was overwhelmed by a familiar warmth .He gasped as something was poking him in his leg.Seemed like Collins was enjoying it as much as he did.Were they really going to....in the infirmary...right then and there?

The creak of the door made him stand up almost immediately, almost falling on the floor.He swore he never reacted faster in his life as the door opened and Dr.Stanley came into the room, with a bland stare on his face, like usual.He thanked God for the apron he was wearing that was currently hiding the tent in his pants.

“Ah, Dr.Stanley.Me and Mr.Collins were just having some small talk, “ he tried to explain himself the best he could.He could see in the corner of his eyes Collins buttoning down his jacked, with an annoyed look on his face.

“I see.Mr.Collins, do you need anything? I’d rather not have the infirmary occupied just for small talk ,“ Dr Stanley responded in his usual manner.

“No, I’ll be on my way.Goodbye Dr.Goodsir, Dr.Stanley “ Collins stood up from his chair.Just as he was about to disappear into the dark hallway, he quickly glanced at Goodsir and smiled.

Goodsir mentally thanked himself for having the idea to close the door.He didn’t want to imagine what would have happened if it wasn’t closed.He turned around looking for his book, trying to distract himself.He couldn’t deny he wasn’t dissappointed that it all ended that abruptly.He hoped not for long.

“Mr.Goodsir...did something happen to your neck? “ he heard Dr.Stalney ask.

**Oh God**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I didn't intend to post this as I first wrote it on my phone and it was so bad I wanted to punch myself in the mouth.But I re-wrote it and now I am okay with it.


End file.
